Michelle's Wonderland

Times have changed

2009-05-21T20:19:00.001-07:00

WOW! I feel strange writing a blog entry when I haven't posted anything on my blog for almost two years. It's crazy how time seems to go by quickly when you look back. A lot of things have changed with me. I'm still working the same job, but last school year was really challenging for me and the two women I worked with in my classroom. The teacher moved schools and the other para looked hard for another job, but thankfully she did not find one. This school year we got a new teacher. She's good with our kids. She knows how to handle behaviors well. This school year has gone by in a breeze thanks to having the new teacher and to the group of kids we have this year that are all manageable.

Another change is that David's sister had a baby in September. MY first nice Alyssia came into the world. She is adorable and I can't get enough of her. I get my baby fix with her and then I get my kid fix at work so David and I are still not looking to have a baby anytime soon. I'm really proud of our marriage. I know we could've had a baby already and I know we would be good parents, but I'm happy we haven't because I love my marriage to David. I know our marriage is strong and the biggest reason why is because we've had time to build up that strength with out the stress of kids. Everyday I get quality time with my best friend. Granted, I still get irritated with him sometimes and vice versa, but he's everything and more I ever wanted in a husband. I do look forward to the day we do decide to have kids though.

Recently David lost his job. It's been rough on us. We decided to move in with my parents so David can go back to school. My one wish for David is that he finds a job he enjoys as much as I enjoy my job. I know he's always thinking about money and how to get the most money, but I don't care about money, I care about my husbands happiness.

What I'm most excited about now is summer. I can't wait to start summer. I feel as is if a lot the best moments in my marriage have been in the summer. The both of us feel more relaxed and we do a lot of fun activities together. In August we're going on a cruise to Alaska with my family which we're very trilled about. I'm also excited about taking Gunner to the dog park. There's a big one close to my parents house and Gunner loves it. I'm looking forward to his Vet appointment in July to see if he's lost weight. Last July he weighed about 82 pounds so I hope it's around mid 70's. He’s supposed to be in the lower 60's.

Well if there's anyone left out there who still stumbles across my blog I will make sure to update way more often.

Just Life

2007-09-13T20:36:00.000-07:00

It’s been a long time since I’ve wanted to just write a blog entry with out any pictures in it. It’s almost been two weeks now since my sister got married and I miss talking to her miserably. She’s probably not even thinking about me and all because she’s probably soaking up all the nice sun in the Caribbean and eating tons of good food on her cruise…and…oh…yeah…keeping busy with her new husband Joel. : ) I’m dieing to hear from her and just talk about the wedding and how she faired on her wedding gifts. Over all I’m just so excited for her.

I’ve also been a little busy myself. School started last Wednesday so that means I’m back to work now. But I do love it. I enjoyed my summer off to recuperate from last year, but I’m excited for this year. We only have three students, as of yet, this year, to us three adults. It’s nice, but when it’s not chaos it gets a little boring. I’ve realized I rather it be chaotic than have it calm and having nothing to do. I’m still trying to figure out if I’m totally mixed in the head about that one.

With a new start in the school year means only one other thing…the Puyallup Fair. David and I plan on going this Tuesday. I’m thrilled about it. We didn’t go last year so it will be fun. We plan on getting “Dizzy Passes” so we can ride all the rides we want. David and I are similar in that way, we both are kids at heart and love to ride rides at the fair. Also David and I found out that Dock Dogs, a competition for dogs jumping off docks (obviously), is going to be at the fair so we signed Gunner up for September 22nd. Although he’s over weight I have confidence that he will do fairly well since we take him up to Ohop all the time and throw him balls in the lake. Our dog is not afraid of water by any means; unless we’re bathing him in it.

Another reason I felt compelled to write an entry was because I wanted to gush about my feelings on the fall season. Halloween is around the corner and I can’t wait until September is over so that I can decorate my house. I’m a sucker for holiday merchandise when it comes to Halloween. I was deprived from the holiday as child and I won’t let my mother live it down. That is why I must make up for it now that I’m an adult and a home owner. I made a deal with David, since he’s a Halloween fan too, that I get to decorate the house with the cute, charming Halloween stuff and he can do the scary, crap your pants type stuff outside. Also I love the fall because of the holiday season approaching. It’s also the time of the year for mine and David’s anniversary. It will be two years this November. I can hardly believe. I know we’re still considered newly weds, but it truly feels like we got married only a few months ago. Time goes by fast when your having fun (I love being cheeeesy)!

I’m excited for my brother and his wife Megan on the fact that they just moved into a nice brand spanking new house. I was over there today visiting with Megan and I’ve come to the conclusion I’m more excited for her than I am my brother. The reason being is that she has a blank canvas to splash all her decorating creativity on to. It will be fun to watch as she transform her new house and share/trade decorating tips with her.

Well, I’m all wrote out now. Hopefully soon I’ll post some pictures of the things I just talked about. That’s all folks!

Wedding Pcitures

2007-09-05T20:53:00.000-07:00

My sister Trissa got married this last Sunday on September 2nd. The whole weekend was packed with things to do and places to go. It was a lot of fun, but stressful at the same time. But in the end the fun and love of a wedding eliminates all the stress. I'm happy for my sister and her new husband Joel. Right now they're having fun in Florida and then will be moving on to a cruise in the Caribbian. Here are some pictures of the weekend.

David and I tagged along to dancing lessons with Trissa, Joel, Mom, Dad, and two friends

Rehearsal at the wedding location in Oregon.

Trissa and I at her Batchelorette party. Good fun!

My sister downing Greek Ouzo.

A few bridesmaids, freinds, my mom, and Trissa getting our nails done.

All of us showing off our pretty nails.

David and I outside at Tissa and Joel's rehearsal dinner.

Trissa and I at her Hotel room getting ready for the wedding.

David and I outside in a park behind Joel's parents house.

Trissa on her way to get married!!
The Ushers setting up the votives for the ceramony.

My 21st brithday

2007-08-20T20:33:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday I turned the big 21 and then I had a party on Saturday up at David's parents cabin on a lake. It was a lot of fun. David put so much into the party and I couldn't be more thankful to him for that. I couldn't of hoped for a better party.
David and I standing in front of a banner his aunt made for me.

Me and my best friends from childhood.

Vacation of a lifetime

2007-08-08T17:49:00.000-07:00

David I got back from our vacation two weeks ago. We had a great time and now we're trying to get back in grove of things. I thought it would be neat to put some of our favorite pictures on my blog.

The Colosseum

Vatican City

The Spanish Steps

The Leaning Tower of Pisa

The Parthonon

The Blue Mosque in Istanbul, Turkey

The Library of Celsus at Ephesus in Turkey

Bon Voyage!

2007-07-10T12:11:00.000-07:00

Tonight we leave for a 12 day cruise that will take us from Italy to Greece then to Turkey and then back to Italy. We're very excited, as we should be. We've been planning this trip for a year now and it is finally here. I just wanted to say farewell and I'll be sure to post some vacation pictures when we get back in two weeks.

Visiting Moses Lake

2007-06-03T11:54:00.000-07:00

David and I outside in my Grandma Schiffner's backyard before the wedding

David and I went to Moses Lake this weekend to go to one of my cousins' weddings. The wedding was nice, but after living back on the west side of mountains for six years I'm not used to the summer heat over there anymore. I was told that it got up to 100 degrees and I definitely believed it. I felt like I was going to faint at one time from heat exhaustion. Other than that David and I had a good time visting with my grandmother and my cousin Amanda. My cousin Amanda hasn't been able to hear for some years now, but with the help of science she is going in next week to get this special hearing aid fixed next to one of her ears. My family's hope is that it will work and for the first time she'll learn her step dads name. She has a heart of gold and for this to work for her would be a miracle.

One other thing David and I did before we headed back home was that we swung over to Soap Lake real quick and went for a swim. It was a nice excursion espically for how hot it was.

David and Amanda playing in her sandbox

Amanda and me standing by her tree at my grandma's house. Each one of the grandchildren have a tree at my grandma's house and they all look big and beautiful this year.

Losing weight before the Summer

2007-04-30T19:15:00.000-07:00

I have been on weight watchers for ten weeks now. I must say, it's has been the best thing I've done for my body since I've cheerleaded. Today I reached an important goal and I couldn't be more thrilled and excited about it. As of yet I have lost 18 pounds and have gone down two pant sizes. I'm still chugging along, and my hope is to lose at least 13 more pounds for a total of 31 pounds. It's amazing the way I've learned to control what I eat instead of letting food control me. What I used to ignor when it comes to my eating habites I've had to reach down deep and acknowledge each and every one of them. It wasn't easy to do, but so far it's been a worth while journey. One thing that runs through my mind, when I'm about to give in to a donut or something of the sort, is the saying "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." It truly does help me and has helped me.

I realize that this entry is odd for not having written one in over three months, but besides my husband and my job this is the most important thing in my life right now. I just feel like sharing my happiness of my weight loss with others.

Before

After

I'm on the far right hand side. This was three weeks ago on Easter Sunday and five pound ago also.

2007-01-07T16:01:00.000-08:00

David and I at my childhood friend Amanda's wedding, this weekend.

Ringing in the New Year

2007-01-01T17:33:00.000-08:00

2006-12-28T14:42:00.000-08:00

Our Silly dog, Gunner, falling asleep on David's foot

2006-12-28T14:29:00.000-08:00

2006-12-28T14:11:00.000-08:00

I feel completely blessed. David and I celebrated our first year anniversary a month ago and it hardly felt like a year had already past. Along with that I got a job that makes me feel like I have more purpose in this world, which is a wonderful feeling. I'm a paraeducator for the Puyallup school district. Each day I learn a little more about patients because of the kids I'm working with, but at the same time I love working with them.

My brother Jason is getting married tomorrow and I'm happy that he's found Megan whom will make him a great wife. Since my brother got transferred to McCord he and Megan looked for apartments last week and found one six minutes away from David and me. I couldn't be happier to have family so close. The only thing left for me to do is convince my sister to move up here now.

David and I had a great Christmas, we spent it with family. First we were in Moses Lake with my relatives, on the 23rd. Then we spent Christmas Eve with David’s family here in Puyallup, and for Christmas Day we went to Portland to spend it with my family. We're pretty tuckered out by all the traveling we're doing, but in the end it's worth it to of had that time with loved ones.

One gift we got from my parents was a digital camera. Just in time too, since we're traveling to Europe this summer. We are defiantly blessed and I couldn't hope for anything better right now.

2006-11-02T12:16:00.000-08:00

August Birthdays

2006-08-11T23:04:00.000-07:00

In the last eight and a half months of marriage I've learned a lot about David's and mines differences. For instance, when my birthday gets close I get excited. I've always loved when my birthday comes around. David doesn't share the same excitement I do about birthdays, he sees his birthday as just another day, one he doesn't like to think about because it means he's getting older. Me on the other hand I like the fact that I'm getting older. I like the attention that for one day people are centered around me. I used to love it as a kid, when it was time to sit down for cake and ice cream at my birthday parties and all the other kids would fight over who would get to sit by the birthday girl. I'm not usually a spot light kind of girl so I try to milk my birthday for all it's worth. This year I'm excited about my birthday even more because I have big plans for standing in a Big Bright Spot Light. On my actual birthday next Wednesday people from David’s family, my parents, grandparents, and a couple of good friends are all going out to dinner to Olive Garden. If you have never tried Olive Gardens Chocolate Birthday Cake then you have never tried the best cake you will ever have in your life.

The party doesn't end there though. The following weekend David and I are going to spend it up at his grandparents cabin on a beautiful lake with my sister, my future brother-in-law, and some other friends. I've been telling everyone though, that they can stop by and join the fun. We're going to spend lots of time inertubing, wakeboarding, swimming, eating, playing bored games, and just relaxing.

I have to admit that last three birthdays haven't been that great, I can't even remember what I did for my 17th birthday. That's another reason for my excitement, also one other reason is because I'm turning 20, I'm no longer a teenager anymore, I'm now in my twenties. (Good and exciting for me, bad and scary for my parents and grandparents to realize their youngest child and grandchild is now in her twenties.)

This blog entry is titled August birthdays because not only is my birthday in August, but my brother-in-law's birthday is today, my future sister-in-law's birthday was yesterday and David's brother-in-law's was the third. I never knew so many people that shared the same birthday month as myself growing up so it's interesting to know so many August babies now.
Happy Birthday to all that are having an August Birthday.

2006-06-11T22:58:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while I have spurts of sadness. Tonight I am sad. I am sad that I just graduated because all I know is how to be a student and I don't know what it will be like not to be one. I am sad that my relationship with my parents is not the same anymore. When I lived with them alone for four years I would do everything with them. Instead of going out with friends on a Friday or Saturday night I would be out with my parents. I'll never have that same relationship with them because I'll never live with them alone again. I am sad because I realized that I should of sent one of my friends a card or given her call after she got out of the hospital. I am sad because I miss my grandmother. I am sad because life keeps pulling me forward before I'm ready for it. I am sad for all the lost friends, lost relationships, and lost occasions that I will never have again.

I'm sorry if this entry also made whoever read this sad.

2006-06-04T19:09:00.000-07:00

This picture was taken of me, my passed grandmother, and my sister on Mother's Day weekend.

In memory of Allie Mae Fisher

2006-05-30T15:07:00.000-07:00

This weekend was very long for me. On Friday David and I had our six month anniversary. Last Thursday we drove up to Coeur d’Alene Idaho. We worked Friday and Saturday at David's Aunt and Uncles cabin by the lake. Saturday night David checked his messages and received news that my grandmother (my mom's mother) had turned for the worst fast after finding out a month ago that she was dieing of liver failure. I had planed on stopping in Moses Lake (where she lives) on our way back home to see her on Monday, but we decided to leave a day early. Less than a half hour to Moses Lake my mom called me to tell me that her mom had passed away. I don't know why, but I had felt guilty that I didn't get there in time to say goodbye one last time. I'm sure I wouldn't have liked seeing her die, but I would have gone through that if I could of told her one last time how much I loved her and that I would miss her.

For mother's day my whole family got together at my grandmother's house. That was the only time besides Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter (when we were kids), and weddings that my whole family had gotten together. It was special and I could tell my grandmother was happy to have all her four kids and their spouses, her eleven grandchildren, and her eight great-grandchildren there. A moment I imprinted in my mind so I would never forget was after I gave my grandma some pretty potted purple flowers that were in a pretty little vase. We were on my grandparents deck and I watched her as she delicately touched the flowers and looked at them with adoration in her eyes.

I know she's in a better place, but what makes me sad is that I miss her too much. She'll always be in my heart though.

Everyone is Getting Married

2006-03-24T14:26:00.000-08:00

Last night my sister called me just to talk. I started to tell her how I just went to Moses Lake, where our Grandparents live, to visit them with David. When I was there I found out that one of my cousins got officially engaged at Christmas and another one of cousins is also planning on getting married after he and his fiancée save up some money. Two of David's cousins are getting married also. One is eloping with his live-in-girlfriend in the next month and another is just getting engaged. On top of our cousins getting married my brother recently found an engagement ring he wants to propose with to his girlfriend, and my sister is also seriously thinking about getting married to her boyfriend. And Last, but not least, my best friend Amanda just moved in with her boyfriend and the word marriage has been floating around. Its crazy how many people I know that are all planning on getting married one after another. Maybe David and I made getting married the thing to do. : )

Last July I stood in as maid of honor for a childhood friend’s wedding. When it came time for the bouquet to be thrown there was only three women, including myself, standing there to catch it (it was a small outdoor garden wedding). The other ladies looked at me and said, "We're just standing here, we're not going to try to catch it." So it was obvious that I was one that was going to get it. I was surprised when the bouquet was thrown I didn't even have to move my feet, it came right to me. Little did I know at that moment that I would be the next single girl, from everyone I know, to get married. It's strange to think about now. I've realized that I've change dramatically in the last eight months. This kind of change though, is good. I'm happy with where my life has gone so far.

My new hope for all the people I know who are getting married will find the same happiness in their marriages as I have found in mine and in result feel more complete than they ever have before.

Is it influnce or what I believe?

2006-01-30T12:26:00.000-08:00

I love my life the way it is right now, but I did cut myself short by not living on my own for a while to figure out what my faith is all about, what my values are, and how to deal with someone that doesn’t agree with my faith and values. I went straight from a conservative Christian home with my parents to a judgmental and dislike towards Christians home with my husband. It’s like going from one side of the spectrum to all the way to other side. I do have a faith and when you believe in something like I do you deal with it on a daily basis. To draw you a picture it’s like that angel and devil on your shoulder. My parent’s being one and my husband being the other (not going to specify because they switch sides depending the issue). When I hear peoples views on my faith constantly I start to get confused. Where does my belief values for my faith start and my parents’ and my husband’s end? Both sides think the other one influences me greatly and they’re right. David’s right in the sense that my parent’s have been taking me to church my whole life so they have 19 years of influence over me. My parent’s are right because David is the man I love and I will be with him for the rest of my life so he’ll have influence over me until one of us dies. The problem that I would like to fix is for me to figure out what part of my faith is influenced and what part of my faith is from what I believe. When I lived with my parent’s I couldn’t get out of going to church, now living with David I haven’t been to church since we got married. I know that I'm somewhere in-between my parent’s and David when it comes to my faith, but how do I even start to act on my faith when I have this struggle of influence? It’s completely overwhelming.

2006-01-27T13:24:00.000-08:00

This quarter I'm taking a Antropology class. Each week I have an assignment that I have to do from my text book. Each chapter has a small passage about certain issues. This week the subject was about Female Genital Cutting (FGC); I cringed the whole time I read the passage. As a women I'm sad that other women are taken away such a presious gift. To find out more about it go to: http://www.stopexcision.net/excision.html. It's just not right.

A little late, but Oh Well

2006-01-24T10:50:00.000-08:00

Here's a few wedding pictures, that was up on my sister's blog that I stole. My sister took these one her ditigal camera, that she never goes anywhere with out.

Here's David and I putting up our own decorations for the reception with my family and freinds just standing around watching us and letting us know that we have it crooked. That's what family and freinds are for, right?

My sister and I before the wedding, getting ready in the church nursery. Can you see the family resemblance?

Me and my five bridesmaids. From left to right: Elyse, one of my best freinds from birth; Trissa, my sister and my maid of honor, and also my freind from birth we just didn't know it unitl we grew up;Amanda (blond one in the back) Elyse's twtin sister, also my best freind from birth, it wouldn't have been right with out Amanda and Elyse being my bridesmaids; Heidi, a freind that I've only had a couple of years, but has always been there for me, plus she's been good for Mark her husband and my freind; and last, but not Least Katie, my freind for four years now, I've had many good times with her going wakeboarding, snowbording, intertubing, camping, house boating, cliff jumping, and much more. These five women are the greatest people I know.

Here's David and me at the reception. It was really nice. The food was beyond good, I only wish I could of enjoyed it more. It all went by very fast. I have to admit I cried a little bit. I didn't think I would have been a crying bride, but I was. I cried when my dad got up to give David and me a blessing durning the ceremony, I cried during my maid of honor's (my sister) speech, and I cried when watching a vedio my mom and mother-in-law conspired to put together, it was of pictures of me and David growing up and then a few pictures of us to together with "Michelle My Bell" by the Beatles playing in the backround.

My New Life

2006-01-24T10:05:00.000-08:00

My new life is good for me. Before I got married I never realized how much things I did for myself. I look back at my life as 'the single Michelle' and I see someone that doesn't have to think about, worry about, or take care of anyone else. Today, with David though, I check in with him more in one week than I did with my parents in several months. One of my most favorite things to do was being able to decide on a Thursday night that I would go on a two or three hour trip to Wenatchee or Portland the next day after my classes. Now though I have to plan with David weeks ahead of time and make sure our schedules correspond for us to go together. Now when I clean, I'm cleaning after two people and not just one. When I'm going to make something to eat (I'm still making my way slowly from Easy Mac to more elaborate stuff) I have to think about making enough for three (David may be skinny, but he can pack in the food, it's hard to keep up). It's all very new to me. And I bet someone that isn't married is looking at this right now thinking, "that pour girl", but really I love it. Because not only do I have to consider someone else all the time so does that someone for me.

David gets off of work at 10:30, sometimes later if he has overtime, and I've taken on his schedule. I'll stay up for him until he gets home, or I'll at least sleep on the couch waiting for him to go to bed. This last Friday he called me up from work and asked me if it was alright if he went up to a buddy’s of his from work (it was about one in the morning when he called, he had had overtime that night). This guy had a poker game going with some other friends. David doesn't go out much with friends so I said of course. But even after I gave him the okay he said, "I won't go if you really want me to come home." I knew once he said that he would have rushed home to me if I had just told him to come home. Little things like that mean the world to me now. Knowing that someone loves you so much that he would give up a night at the bar or a night of poker just to cuddle with me on the couch and watch a movie, the same thing we do every night. Having someone that cares for you that much and caring for someone that much brings so much meaning to your life. It fulfills me inside and out. I'm truly blessed in my new life. I'm not 'Single Michelle' who only thinks of herself anymore, I'm part of a whole, called, 'Committed David and Michelle.'

A Chirstmas for Firsts

2005-12-23T14:00:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow will be one month for how long I've been married to David. In perspective to the rest of our lives, one month is not that big of a deal, but in perspective of how long we've been a couple altogether a month is considered a long time. But actually this month has flown by rather quickly. David and I have been getting ready for our first Christmas together and I've been preparing myself for my first Christmas with out my family. As I'm writing this entry, my parents, borther and sister, and their girlfriend and boyfriend are all having fun at Disney World in the sunny Florida. David couldn't get the time off so we're spending the holidays with his family. I don't so much care about Disney World, I figure I'll go someday, but it's hard not having my family around, it doesn't completely feel like Christmas with out them. I am excited though to wake up on Chirstmas morning with David and exchange gifts.

Merry Chirstmas to Everyone.

Four more days? No Way! (But in a good way)

2005-11-22T12:24:00.000-08:00

I stole this picture from my sister's blog page (tryingtounderstandtheworld.blogspot.com). I don't think I look my best in it, but one of David’s rare appearances of his natural smile found its way into this photo. This is the smile I get to wake up to for the rest of my life (of course except when he's angry with me : ) ). Aren't I a lucky girl?

Four more days until the wedding. My, oh, my it's coming fast. I have so much to do. I'm excited though. Yesterday we got our marriage license. It's was actually an easier process than I thought it would be. The hardest part was finding the place. There was a couple of places we had to sign and David kept on pretending like he didn't want to do it. It was cute to a certain point.
Tomorrow night my brother flies in from Florida. I'm a little on my seat concerning David meeting my brother. I hope they like each other. I know that they'll pretend to get along because they're both courteous like that, but I want more than that. David is the first important man in my life and second and third are my father and brother. It would make me feel good inside knowing that the men I love the most in my life get along and on top of that like each other.

At this point it looks like there's about 115 guest coming. One thing that worries me is the rock slides on Snoqualmie pass. Another one happened last night so that just adds to the traffic that was already going to be bad. Mostly everyone on my mom's side of family from Moses Lake plan on coming, but if rock slides continue then there's a great possibility they might not be able to make it. I try to sike myself out. I play bad scenarios through my head of what could possibly go wrong on my wedding day and after I do that I tell myself that all that matters for that day is that I'm marring David. As long as nothing happens to David I have nothing to worry about. Let everyone else do the panicking.

One funny thing: I thought my mom and dad would have a hard time letting me go. I though when it came time to move my stuff they would try to postpone it, but no. My mom told me I had to have all my stuff out of my room by this Friday so she could revert it to a guest room. I couldn't believe it. So I moved majority of my stuff last Saturday. The only things I have left to pack is my cloths and I have my bed and dresser to move. I don't think my parents will miss me too much. The nice thing about only living thirty minutes away is that I can stop by and steal their food anytime.

Once the wedding is over I'm going to try to become Susie Homemaker. Wish me luck. After everything dies down I'll be back to write about my attempts. And I'm sure they're will be a lot of them to talk about. And I'll try to get wedding pictures up ASAP.

P.S. Thanks Amanda for your nice comment on my last entry. Your support along with others is what makes me confident that marrying for the right reasons. Your a great friend and that is why your one of my bridesmaids.

Explaining Love

2005-10-14T12:44:00.000-07:00

How do you explain love? I truly think that it can not be done. The number one question people have been asking me lately is why do you want to get married? Old or young, married or single, family or friend, It seems that telling them that “I’m in love” will never be enough, which is True. You can’t just tell people, “I’m getting married because ‘I’m In Love.’” If I do then I just look like some love-sick school girl. I try every time to explain my love for David to people that ask me why I’m getting married. I actually think I do a pretty good job, but it never seems to be enough for some. I know in my heart my reasons, but how do you explain your heart to others? I don’t think you can explain it, I think it can only be seen. The more the people see us together the less they ask that question. What I can’t explain to them verbally is explained through our actions. One person In David’s family gave me a hard time. She wanted to know why we were getting married ‘SO YOUNG.’ I don’t remember using the words love at first and I did that intentionally. She asked me, “What makes you two so different from all the other ‘kids’ your age that get married and divorced.” So I responded by throwing statistics back at her. I told her that one of the biggest reasons why younger people get divorced is because of money. I then went on to say that David has a nice paying job, he has a house, he has more than one car, and most of all he has great credit. Of course that wasn’t enough for her, she then wanted to know what I was contributing to the relationship. I knew the answer to this also because David and I don’t go a day with out talking about these things. I said that when I’m not going to school I will be taking care of the house, meaning cooking, cleaning, taking care of Gunner (David’s Dog), etc. I don’t know when taking care of the house stopped being a job because she said to me something along the lines of “Well, what about when you change, will you still want to do that in a couple of years?” I had reached my patients level at that point. I told her even before I met David I wanted to be a house wife. When David and I finally decide to have kids I’m going to stay home to take care of them. That’s always been my dream, I’m only going to school for a fall back plan. The reason why I’m getting married is because I’m in love. Love , can not be explained, but the reason I know we’ll continue to be with each other is because we both have a system that works, we have our friendship, and we have our dreams. I agree that I’m young, something that I forget a lot, but David is hardly a kid anymore. He’s been taking care of himself for a while now. He has all the same responsibilities that a forty year old has. We both know that I still have some growing to do, but want to be together while I do that growing. We know marriage isn’t a field of Daisies and at times we’ll want to give up; that’s more than a lot of couples getting married realize.

When people want to ask, “ Why do you want to get married?” “Because I’m in Love,” is the correct answer. It seems lame, but it’s true. I can easily answer anyone who wants to ask, “How do you know it will last.” My answer: We don’t know, we can not tell the future, but we do know that we are willing to try no matter what. I’m happy, anyone that has seen me in the last couple of months can see that. I’m happier than I have been in a couple of years.

Thank you to those loved ones that have supported David and I. Not only supported, but have trusted us that we’re making a good decision.
.

2005-10-10T18:14:00.000-07:00

True Love Is: When your fiancée surprisingly buys you a CD you love, but he hates.

2005-10-10T16:37:00.000-07:00

I know this is what you all been waiting for, and even if it isn't here you go anyways: Pictures of David and I.

David, My best friend Amanda, and Myself. I love this picture.

This pictures makes me laugh. Amanda says I have a classic look on my face.

The Cat's Out of the Bag

2005-10-09T18:29:00.000-07:00

Well, the cat's out of the bag completely now. David's Dad, Mike was just told last night that David and I are getting married. David hated waiting that long, but he did it out of his mom request. David's mom wanted to wait to tell him until after Michelle (David's sister) and Pete's wedding. Their wedding was yesterday (which was actually nicer than I thought it was going to be). Mikes birthday is today so David's family went out last night. We caught up with them late and they had been drinking. Since Mike had been loosened up David figured it would be a good time. It makes me laugh every time I think of how he did it. He just leaned over his mom to get to his dad and said, "I'm getting married." His dad gave him a look like your joking so David grabbed my left hand and showed him my ring. The next thing Mike said was, "So soon." It wasn't a question. He was shocked just like everyone else has been, but I think he's happy for David. After a little while he gave me a hug and he said, "I knew you were the one..." I felt so touched by that. I really do like David's family. They're all really nice people. I just have to get used to way they show their love because it's a lot different then the way my family shows their love. David later told me that his Uncle Terry told him that he always thought that David was the most put together grandchild in the family and that he trusted his wisdom and decisions.

I had a hard time with one of David's relatives that I had met before David and Renae broke up. It was at the reception and by the end of the conversation I was sweating bullets. When I told David's sister, Michelle, about it she said, "Don't pay attention to her, you'll get that a lot, but stay strong." I thought that was funny because she had given me a hard time not less than three weeks ago. But something she said made me start to think, I've three times as many people supporting David and I than people that are against the decision. Also the people that support us are the people that know us well. That's something that I got to keep in my mind. David and I are so lucky for having so many people that love us enough to trust are judgment.

It feels good that everyone that's important in our lives know now. The hardest thing is now over, hopefully it's all down hill from here.

Wise Ex-girlfriend

2005-10-06T18:10:00.000-07:00

I met one of David's ex-girlfriends on Tuesday. This woman has two boys and David had wanted to see them for a while. He told me they were the reason he had staid in the relationship for so long. He said it was his worst relationship so I figured she wouldn't be all the great. But it turns out we have something in common: Reading! First she started off by saying she was taking the boys to the new Harry Potter movie and that lead to the books. Then we started to talk about all the books we had both read. One thing she really surprised me with was that she thought David and my story was great. The fact that David and I haven't been together long didn't even fade her. She said something that made feel very good. She said some people court for a long time and end up getting divorces later and some date for a very short time and end up lasting, it really depends on the people. She's so right. I could date David for a long time, but I already know that we're right for each other. We both want the same things in life, which is so important. He makes me happy. Why not get married? I know we'll last because I know that we're both stubborn to where neither one of us would ever give up.

The Official Proposal

2005-10-03T13:05:00.000-07:00

David and I have been planning to get married for a month now, but he hadn't "officially" asked me to marry him. For the last two weeks David and I had been looking for rings together. The first place we went to was Shane Co. in Southcenter and we only found one ring we liked there, but we really liked it, it automatically became both of ours favorite. David was the one that had actually spotted it, I had passed it by. We spent a lot of time there looking at the ring with different diamonds. I thought that was it, but David had said that he wanted to still look so I went along with him. We briefly looked at Fred Myers only because David could get a discount there, but all their rings were ugly. A week from the first time we had went ring shopping we went to EE Robins also in Southcenter. We saw a couple of rings there, but weren't too excited about them. We decide to go back to Shane Co. to relook at the first ring, but when we went in the store the ring had been sold to a guy that had been interested in it the day we were there. The same guy that helped us out told us to look around to see if we could find the ring in white gold instead of platinum. We looked around, but we couldn't find it. The guy then went in the back to look on the internet. He came out and said that he couldn't find it and that he didn't want to be sure, but he thought that the ring was discontinued. As we were walking out David was clearly upset that he hadn't moved in on the ring sooner. To make him feel better I told him that it didn't matter, that I didn't even like the ring that much, even though I had loved that ring. We went to one more place, Jared's also in Southcenter. There we found a cute engagement ring with a matching wedding ring that also had a matching male wedding ring. I told David that that was what I wanted. It was on Tuesday that we looked at those rings and I hassled him every day about getting those rings.

My story continues to last night. I stayed at his house. (Just staying, I'm keeping my virginity until David's and mine wedding night, which makes both us very proud.) He didn't get off until 1 in the morning. We were up for a while because David had to do his homework. At one time I was sitting down and he was standing shuffling papers. I got up and said I loved him before I gave him a kiss. About ten minutes later I said something else that upset him. He got quite. I figured at the point it was best I went to bed before I said anything else that upset him. On my way he said, "We need to talk". It worried me. We went to bed and we started to talk in the dark. He started to tell me all these good things about me. He kept saying, "You know I love you, right." I thought that he was trying to break up with me. I kept thinking how could he do this to me. I love him so much, not only would I feel heart broken but I would feel so humiliated. My five bridesmaid had just paid for their $150 dressed this weekend. One of the last things he said was, "I think God has brought us together." It made me mad for him to say something that meant so much to me while he was breaking up me. I started to cry a little. I heard him get up to turn on the light. I turned my head away so that he couldn't see my tears. After I didn't hear him say anything I turned around and saw him just kneeling beside the bed looking intently at me. He then pulled out a ring box and then as he opened the box said, "Will you marry me Michelle Schiffner." I didn't answer right away because my eyes were on the ring from Shane Co. The ring that had supposedly been "discontinued." I was in shock. He had managed to trick me and he had done it well. He said that he had to order the ring from New York in order to get it, since the one we had looked at had been bought by someone else. The day we had went back to the store he had skipped school to go down to find out if the ring had gotten there yet. He told the guy that he was going to bring me back and to just go along with whatever he did. God, those guys were good! If we were in a movie the two of them would when Oscars. I didn't think he would be able to surprise me but he did. Not only did he surprise me by proposing to me at two o'clock in the morning after I thought he was breaking up with me, but he also surprised me with the ring. One funny thing was that David had bought the ring when I was trying to cheer him up by saying I didn't like it anymore. He told me after he proposed that he was so bumed out when I said that. Well, that's what he gets for tricking me.

I really have the greatest guy ever. I love him so much. He's my whole world from beginning to end. I can't wait to marry him.

2005-10-03T12:43:00.000-07:00

These pictures don't nearly do the ring justice. He couldn't of picked a better ring.

2005-09-16T14:56:00.000-07:00

My favorite dress that I've seen so far. In a week I have a fitting, so we'll see then if it's prefect. Out of all the dresses that I showed David he liked this one the most too.

Walking Down the Aisle to Guns N’ Roses

2005-09-15T13:31:00.000-07:00

There’s many good reasons why It’s been almost a full month since the last time I wrote an entry, but the best reason I can give is that I met the man I’m going to marry. What I mean by that is that, I met the man I’m going to marry, literally, in a couple of months my last name is going to change.

So after I got down with my summer classes I had decided to make myself rest before I had to go back for fall quarter. One of the ways that I was going to rest was going to Coeur d’Alene, ID with my friends Renae and David. By the end of the five day trip I realized that I had a small attraction toward David and I knew he had one for me. On our way back from Idaho we stopped in Moses Lake to see one of my grandmas. My grandmother has this showcase room to display her collection she's gathered at gun shows with my grandfather before he passed away. David drank the room up, especially the WWI and WWII knives. After we looked around the house I stopped in the kitchen to talk to my grandma. I pulled the stool from the butcher block (childhood habit) and sat down and talked to her for about twenty minutes about random stuff. About a week later David said watching me with my grandmother that day will be a memory always imprinted in his head. I think seeing him with my grandmother was also when I started to fall for him hard. He’s the most polite person ever and not just with my grandma, but with anyone of any age.

After we got back I didn’t see him for a week. I went to Wenatchee to sort my thoughts out about how I was feeling. After a couple of days I was going to go nuts from not talking to him so I called him up. We talked whenever we could, before he went to work, his breaks at work, and after he got off of work. I think I talked to him more than I talk to Amanda and Elyse (my friends that I was staying with). At one time he suggested that after I got back home that we should go back to eastern Washington together. I agreed and so I went home and then the next day we drove to Wenatchee together. We talked about a lot of things. By the end of those two days I was in love and he had told me before we had left that he was already in love with me. He said that he had an instant attraction for me the first time he saw me in our writing class this summer. We went back home and faced the music. He broke up with Renae. (We’re all trying to be friends again though, which is a life lesson all in its self.)

This last Sunday we were sitting around talking and he said “Lets just elope”. That subject wasn’t anything new because I had suggested it before that, but then I took it an extra step and asked my mom what she thought of the idea after David had left my house for work. I didn’t think my mom would be for it, but she took me by surprise and said, “It would save me a lot of money.” So I called David up and told him what she said and he was just as surprised, but said okay lets do it this Saturday. That’s when I called up my brother and sister and told them I was getting married. Of all the people that I broke the news to my brother took it the worse. The tone in his voice was that of one that he knew he was losing his little sister. The little sister he still likes to think is just 14, that age I was when he moved out. It was hard especially when I told him that David is the same age as our older sister.

David ended up calling me later saying that his mom had a request that we waited until after David’s sister’s wedding in October. I could understand and so we deicided that we would wait until November. On Tuesday David went to have lunch with my dad to ask for his permission to marry me. David said it went well except for the fact that he was nervous the whole time. Later the same night my mom told me that my parents want me to have to wedding I’ve always wanted so they said go ahead and make my dreams come true. My mom said that my Dad would be upset if I didn’t have the wedding that I’ve always dreamed of. My parents are the best in the world. First I tell them I’m dating a 24 year old, then the next day I tell them I want to marry him, then the next I say I want to marry him in a week, and they took it all in with loving support.

So I’m already starting to realize what it means to sacrifice for the one you love. David is not the type to just sit and let me plan the whole wedding out. He’s already had one big request: that I walk down the aisle to Sweet Child O’ Mine by Guns and Roses. I tried not to laugh when he first brought it up, but the more he made me listen to song the more the idea grew on me.

So with in a month of not writing: I’ve broke up a relationship, I found that man I want to marry, I stirred up a lot of feeling in my family, and I agreed to walk down the aisle, at my wedding, to Guns N’ Roses. It's all very crazy, I'll be the first to admit it.

Passing the Time With Friends

2005-08-18T23:02:00.000-07:00

I ended up passing my birthday quite well even though I did nothing big. My birthday was two days ago. I had four friends come over for dinner. I had invited more people, but it was a last minute thing that I had planned. I was fine with the out come though. It was relaxing. We sat around my table (which is usually only good for putting mail on and other random stuff) and talked. I had a couple of friends over from church and the other two friends are a couple (Renae and David) I know from a writing class we took together this summer. It was nice seeing two friends that I’ve known for years (Heidi and Katie, from church) get to know these two people I had just become friends with. I love to see people connect. There’s so much hatred in this world that when I see people immediately get along it gives me hope. It gives me hope for my future children and my children’s children and so on. It shows me that there is still people out there that are honest, genuine, nice, and caring. People are so busy these days. I have to admit that I was a little disappointed when a couple of people couldn’t make it to my birthday. I didn’t get my hopes up, but I would have liked if my best friends from birth Amanda and Elyse could have made it. Amanda had to work though. This whole summer Amanda has been working two jobs. She told me one week she got so much over time at one job that she had worked 70 hours, and she’s only 19! Why is she working two jobs? Because she has to pay off her credit cards. Amanda is just like so many Americans, we live extravagant lives and than we have to pay for it by working our asses off, so much so that we miss the finer parts of life, like missing your best friends birthday. My dad also had to missed my party. He had to work late. I was kind of sad that he couldn’t be there, but he made it up to me when he got home by giving me roses, a cute teddy bear, and a hug. Now, I know my dad brought me those roses and the teddy bear because he felt really bad that he wasn’t there for me on my birthday, but even if he hadn’t of brought me those things I would have still known that he cared if he had just given me the hug at the end of the night. I kinda went a little of topic there. I guess what I’m trying to say that being able to sit around my table with four friends that made time for me on my birthday means a lot to me. It was especially nice to see Renae and David, and Katie and Heidi get along the way they did. I felt more complete than I have in a while. I love just being with people, but it’s hard to be with them when they don’t have any time for you. Where has all our time gone?

On a lighter note, I’m going camping with my family this weekend. I’m looking forward to it. It will be a nice time to just spend with my family with no TVs, cell phones (no reception), or work to get in the way of us being together. I’m really excited. Nature here I come!

2005-08-18T22:20:00.000-07:00

Friends are like credit cards,we need them forever...
- Dorothy Taylor -

2005-08-16T09:08:00.000-07:00

Today is my 19th B-day!

2005-08-14T18:00:00.000-07:00

Me And My Friend Bryce

I Try

2005-08-11T20:20:00.000-07:00

I hate the word: Quitter

There are things that I’ve wanted to give up in my life, but didn’t because I was afraid of being called a quitter. Just a few things that I wanted to give up on, but didn’t:

Reading- I was a horrible reader when I was younger, but I didn’t give up and now today reading is one of favorite things to do. I read the small print, 1000 page book Gone with the Wind at age 15.

When I was 10 I signed up for little league baseball. My dad tried to talk me out of it saying I would have more fun in an all girls league, but I was too young to understand why. I ended up being the only girl in the league and I got a lot of beef for it. I would get a lot of negative comments from the opponent teams players and coaches. And even after I had negativity directed toward me and the fact that I was afraid of the ball, I played to the end of the season to get my trophy.

In fifth grade I signed up for this kiddy marathon at my school. The idea was that we would run from the closest elementary school back to mine. Less than half way my asthma kicked in and I had to slow down. I wanted to stop so badly, but I didn’t and at the end of the run I ran through the sea of students that were there to cheer on the runners.

The second time I ever went snowboarding, I went with some friends who had been snowboarding way longer than me and took me up a slope that was too advanced for me. With three inches of powder to work with it took me three hours to get down when my friends had passed me about ten times. I got a seasons pass that year and by the end of the season I was doing tricks.

In high school I thought it would be interesting to try out for Varsity Cheerleading. I was out of shape and I didn’t know the first thing about cheerleading. It was a three week try out, more than half of the people quite by the end of the three weeks. I knew that if I didn’t quit then I had a chance. I ended up tying for the first pick after all the returners.

A lot of those had to do with sports, but sports are usually the things I want to quite most with, but recently I felt walking away from something that wasn't a sport. I felt like walking away from a relationship because I could see that I wasn‘t what he needed me to be. I had a strong feeling that it was going to end anyway, but I didn’t want to quit. I wanted to stay because I believe in giving something your all especially when someone else is involved. I wanted to quite, but I didn’t and in the end they quit on me.

There’s some things that I have quit on (I am human after all), but there’s one thing I can say with confidence: At the end of a relationship I will never be the quitter. How do you know you don't like someone if you haven't gotten to know who they really are?

The People I Love

2005-08-10T12:56:00.000-07:00

I have a lot of feelings inside that I want to get out, but at the moment I don’t how. I don’t think anything I try to say will do justice to how I feel. One thing I want to do though is to thank the people I love in my life.

My Sister: Your beautiful inside and out, and I don’t just say that because we’re a lot alike in personality and looks. There are some things about you that I long to have though. For one your strong. You’ve been through so much in your life, probably even more than I know of and yet you still get up in the mornings and go about your days. You have an understanding heart and you rarely judge and if you do, you have very good reasons. One of my favorite things about you is that you’re my friend before you’re my sister. There’s no one that I’m more proud of in my life.

Amanda: The one person I never feel bad being a blond with. You’re more comfortable with me when I’m being a dork than when I’m serious. You know the right things to make me laugh and half the time I’m laughing because of something stupid we did or said. I love you more today than I ever have before growing up. If there’s such thing as friends being soul mates, than we are.

Elyse: My dictionary for life. You have given me some priceless advice over the years. I don’t know how I would of gotten through my teenage years with out you. You were also my spiritual source. We shared some good times to together praying (haha, that sounds lame, but it’s true). What I love most about you though is that My boy troubles are Your boy troubles, your never mind to take a share. You’re my brown eyed girl.

My Brother: Not only are you my hero, but you a hero to this Nation. You put your life at risk everyday when you jump out of planes and shoot a gun, but the best part is that you don’t even think twice about it. Over the years you’ve been more like second a dad than a brother. You’re my protective older brother and you’re the only person on this world that can make me ashamed of my belching habit. I miss you dearly, but I know your at better use in the Air Force than you are at home. Every day you make me proud to call you my brother.

My Mom: My mentor and influence. I wouldn’t want to be special education teacher if it wasn’t for you. I see how your job makes you happy and I love to hear your stories. You are educating the future of our country and as I see that I want to be apart of that. Not only do you influence me, but you’ve become my friend over the years. Although I might not tell you everything, I still feel like I can come to you when I need a shoulder to cry on. You know me very well, which means a lot to me that you care so much. There are so many parents out there today that could care less about their children, but you are a real mom through and through. I know you’ll love me no matter what I do. I’m very thankful that I can call you my mom and my friend.

My Dad: There’s nothing better than knowing I’m Daddy’s Little Girl. You’ve been the best influence on me than any other person in my life. The sacrifices you had to make when I was growing up proved to us, your family, how much you loved us and cared for us. You’ve worked so hard to support us over the years. The greatest thing about you though is how you love mom. When you allowed my mom to go to school to follow her dreams of becoming a teacher and moved us to the other side of the state and had to leave a nice job for a terrible job that proved to me how much you love her. I hope that when I get married I will find a guy that loves me at least as half as much because it would be enough to last me a lifetime. Your honest, loving, hard working, supportive, and the best dad ever. There’s no one else’s pride I love to have as much as yours. I strive to make you proud of me.

The Floyds- Mark, Heidi, Alex, and Natalie: My refuge in this world. Where would I be if I didn’t have Mark and Heidi? Mark has been a great friend for the last four years. Always just one phone call away when I need him. A couple of years ago we went through a big upset with a friend of mine that we tried to help. He went through it with me and helped with the pain of it. I thanked him by helping him with getting together with Heidi. I also think I’ve won in this too. When Mark married Heidi I gained a friend right away. Heidi is so kind hearted, she loves everyone. If I have a problem she is always offering me her wisdom. She is smart beyond her age. I also love her Nicaraguan cooking! Alex, their son is love its self. I’ve never loved a child as much as I love him. When I play with him I’m a child again. He brings joy into my life that wouldn’t be there otherwise. I look forward to watching him grow up. Natalie, the cutest baby in the world. I feel happiness when I just hold her and she looks into my eyes with her beautiful blue eyes. The Floyd family, there’s no other family out there like them. Thank you for letting me apart of you lives.

All these people fill my life with meaning, with out them I wouldn’t be who I am. They’re the reason why I love. I know all feelings when I’m with these people. They all hold a piece of my soul. And I wouldn’t want it to be any other way.

Breathing Again

2005-08-05T15:43:00.000-07:00

I finally feel like I can breath again. Taking summer classes is a stupid thing to do, especially when you have friends that have the summer off and always want you to do stuff with them. I procrastinated way too long with a power point presentation in one class and a ten page paper in my other class, which were both due this week. I spent many hours on my computer on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. One thing that I find interesting about myself is that even though I procrastinate a lot I still turn in good quality work. I’m sure that if I wasn’t a procrastinator then I would get pretty much all A’s. I came to this conclusion after I read another person’s ten page paper in my writing class and noticed that mine was a lot, lot better and she had started her paper the week before verses mine that I had wrote most of it the night before.

So Today, I get to relax and drink in the thought that I only have one more week of classes left and then I have a month off. Nice!

2005-08-02T20:00:00.000-07:00

I was watching my fav. show tonight-Real World, while avoiding writing a big paper I have due in a couple of days. In this episode one of the guys gets a phone call from his Dad telling him that the mother that he didn't have a great relationship with died that morning of a heart attack. One of the things that the guy said in a testimonial was that he knew everyone in the house was there for him if he wanted to talk, but the only person he wanted to talk to was the person he couldn't. That just put some perspective in my life watching and hearing that.

Trip to Moses "Hole"

2005-08-01T14:07:00.000-07:00

This last weekend I went to Moses Lake with my mom to visit my grandparents. I call it Moses “Hole” because there’s nothing much to the town, but I do like it because I have family there. One of the things that I enjoyed while I was there this last weekend was staying in my Grandma Schiffner’s newly built house on the hilltop of her previously owned farm. I could tell that she was really happy as she showed me each room and what the process of construction was like. I‘m really glad that she finally, after 50 years of living on farms, has the house she’s always wanted. She deserves it. She’s worked very hard in her life time and its about time she gets a break, that includes not having to mow grass.

2005-08-01T13:34:00.000-07:00

My Grandma Schiffner's New House

Me standing on my grandma's "grass". She had rocks put in as landscape so she doesn't have to hassle with mowing grass. She likes to refer to her rocks as her "grass".

2005-07-26T21:40:00.000-07:00

One of my all time favorite pictures of my sister and myself. I love you Trissa, there's no better sister out there!

2005-07-19T13:33:00.000-07:00

The View Outside My Window

Where do I put the Lemonade?

2005-07-19T12:26:00.000-07:00

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.

I find that saying every irritating. Someone was very clever when they came up with that line. It’s something I would probably say, which is why I probably don’t like it. I wonder though, if the person who thought up that saying ever thought of one key essential that‘s missing. What happens when you don’t have anything to put the lemonade into? So, maybe that person wasn’t so clever after all…

The thing about growing up is that you start to take on more and more responsibility. Growing up I would always tell my mom “I wish I was older“. To me it seemed that everything came easier for grown ups. Grown Ups got to do fun things that children couldn’t and I wanted to be doing all those fun things also. My mom though in return would say to me, “ Stay a kid as long as you can”. I never realized that the reason adults tried to have fun away from children was because it was relieving all the stress from regular life. As a kid you like to think that everything you want to be when you grow up will happen with a snap of your finger. Of all the things I should have listen to from my mom that should have been the one. Now that I’m 18 going on 19 and I’m taking on responsibilities as an adult and all I want to do is be a kid again. I hate responsibility! Because the more responsibility I get put on me the more I feel burdened.

My Junior year of high school was by far the greatest year of my teen years. I had a lot of responsibility that year, but yet it wasn’t the same as now. Two years ago I was still able to fall back on adults, but now that I am an adult that doesn’t work anymore. That year I was the chief editor of my school newspaper and a varsity cheerleader. That was the first year I had kept a schedule and it was packed with things to do. I was constantly on the go. I was told by an adult when, where, and what and I’d put it on my schedule and make sure I completed the task. That year I had ten people on my staff for the newspaper and since I was the only one that ever saw them do work I was responsible for their grades. I hated that, but I still had the option to get out of it if I wanted to and fall back on my teacher. That year it was as if I was born a leader, but now the only person I’m leading is myself. It’s a lot harder for me to get myself motivated then is a newspaper staff or a football crowd. I’ve only come to one conclusion why that is: because I’m getting older. With each passing year there’s less people to fall back on to and more people handing me lemons. Right now I would give anything to make lemonade, but I just can’t find anything to hold the juice for me.

2005-07-11T19:24:00.000-07:00

Me and Alexander at my childhood friend Alex's wedding. It was very casual in his grandparents back yard. I stood in as Maid of Honor because Jolene only had her grandfather and her foster mom come down from Canada. I felt extreamly honored for the position. It was a lot of fun.

Harry Potter Syndrome

2005-07-11T18:50:00.000-07:00

I've become officially obsessed!!! Yesterday I paid five dollars for the New York times for a Harry Potter crossword when I could of gotten it off the internet for free! With four days to go until the second to the last book of the series comes out, it's all I can think about. I've gotten so crazy about it that I even put a count down for 12 midnight Saturday on my laptop (graduation gift from parentals- best surprise ever) desktop. I also put the picture of the back of the US version of the book on my desktop. I recently got into the website "Mugglenet.com". Everything Harry Potter you can imagine is on that website from predictions to editorial theories. I've occupied my time on between Mugglenet and JK Rowling’s official site. I've even snapped at my mom several times about not remembering what pensieve is (I still don't know how remembering what pensieve is could escape her, it's some what vital to the story line). Today I went on to Amazon.com to make sure our reserved copy of HP and the HBP will be coming exactly on Saturday, July 16th, 2005.
After I realized that no normal person would do such thing, I put my mind to rest at the idea that all those things I just stated are symptoms of the Harry Potter Syndrome. I might of made that up, but I'm sure it exists because I'm not like this for anything else. The last time I was this excited for a book to release was when HP and the Order Of the Phoenix and HP and the Goblet Of Fire came out. H.P.S. is now my excuse for any crazy action I might make between now and Saturday when I run out of my house when I see the delivery truck from the front window and rip out the package from the hand of the pour man or woman who has the misfortune to be working that day!!!!

Big Tuesday

2005-06-23T20:54:00.000-07:00

My list of accomplishments in life:
Getting my braces off. Check.
Graduating from High school. Check.
Putting the past in the past with an old friend. Check.

This last Tuesday was one of the biggest days of my life and I don't mean that lightly either. When I woke up Tuesday morning I got up and got ready and drove to my orthodontist. I had a two hour appointment to get my braces off. It was quit dramatic, which might sound silly, but people that have had the experience of getting their braces off kown my pain. I'm surprised I only cried once through the whole ordeal. I'm proud that I was able to suck it up for the most part. I just kept telling myself, I'm going to have my braces off, I'm going to have my braces off, and it got me through most of it. Then I went home to recover my pride from my outburst at the orthodontist and cooled down before I got ready for my graduation which was schedule for two that afternoon. I got ready and rode with my sister to my school. She told me that I looked at lot different with out my braces and that I had a pretty smile. I'm glad that three years of braces managed to get me a pretty smile, it makes it all worth it. When I got to my high school my peers and I had to sit around in the cafeteria for a half an hour until we got on the buses to go to the Highline Stadium where the ceremony was taking place. As I was waiting I was pleasantly surprised to see my old friend Lauren there. There's a huge history between us where two years previously she had betrayed my trust like no else had before in my life. She had been a drug user and an alcoholic at age of 15 and I was young enough to think that I could help her on my own. In the end I got burned. Any lesser person than me would have walked away and never tried to love her or be friends with her again. True I hadn't seen her much over the past two years because we went to different schools after that, but we ended up graduating from the same place. Both of us were surprised she was graduating, but in a good way, she had dropped out of high school for a sort time to endanger her chances. We ended up sitting together through the ceremony and we stood by each other as our family members took pictures of us in our gowns. It only seemed fitting to be walking with her as if it had been our destiny to go through our graduation together. Even though I've never been more betrayed by anyone else in my life and probably will never let my guard down enough to let a person do that to me again I learned and experienced more to life from her than anyone else. For that alone she will always be in my heart. When you go through so much with one person, the good and the bad, you can't help but be connected to them. That day as we walked to get our diplomas the past was in the past, but the love for each other had followed us to the present. Tuesday was a day of cleansing for me, I got a new smile, I completed the greatest chunk of my education, and I learned that friendship means more to me then the strength of bitterness. Maybe growing up isn’t so bad after all.

2005-06-18T23:22:00.000-07:00

I was watching the movie “Legends of the Fall” for the first time today and I thought of something during the movie as the woman who is loved by these three brothers. After the youngest brother died in WWI, the one the woman was engaged to, she had to decide between the other two brothers. She went for Brad Pitts character who was the more loved brother of the father and was much more edgier then the refined and dignified older brother. The oldest brother could of given her a better life when he offered marriage to her, but she gave it up for her own love and passion. The thing that came to me as I was watching this conflict was that it doesn't matter if you find somebody that has a lot of passion, but instead rises up the passion inside of you more.

Hiding From Love

2005-06-06T22:59:00.000-07:00

I want to find love so bad that I think I’m hiding from it. I know that doesn’t make any sense, but I will explain. In my short life span of almost 19 years I have had a small taste of love only once.

I started to fall for a boy a little over a year ago that I knew going into the crush I could never have him. When I first met him almost two years ago I was instantly attracted to him. He had a smile to die for (the smiles always get me). But he went after a friend of mine so I gave up any hope of having him and became his friend. He was the first guy my age that I completely felt comfortable with as a friend. I could tell him anything, including talking about my period and he wouldn’t be fazed, he’d just listen whenever I had anything to say. He was the biggest flirt, but I knew he liked my friend too much to be really into other girls. He would do this thing that I loved (even when we were just friends), he would rub my tummy as if it were the most pleasurable thing he would do all day. It wasn’t meant as an intimate thing and I didn’t take it as such, I took it as a complement. At the time I was in good shape from cheerleading, but I didn’t realize it and I thought it complement that he would even want to touch my “fat”. We continued to be good friends for months until my friend (his girlfriend) moved three hours away. Once she moved it was as if a blind fold was lifted from our eyes because we were instantly attracted to each other again. (I say again because he told me later that he was attracted me when he first saw me also, but because he saw more of my friend he went after her instead). We started to flirt a lot more then normal. It got to the point where friends would ask us what was going on between us. The tricky part was that my friend still believed that they were together, but this boy liked to think they weren’t. I took his side and we started respond to the burning desire between the two of us. They did break up for about a week officially, but not because she found out about us. There was one day that I remember the most out of any day spending with him and that was the day we were a like a couple. We went to the mall and every where we went we held hands and we would stop to kiss every once in while. I remember telling him before anything happened between us that I thought it was disgusting how he showed his public display of affection toward my friend while they were dating and he told me in response that I would understand someday and I would do the same thing when I found someone. He was right, for that one day I was not Michelle, I was that girl that understood and had found that somebody. Later a girl I worked with said she saw me with him and asked if he was my boyfriend. I had wanted to say yes so badly, but I knew in my heart I couldn’t. He had come back to me the next day and told me he had patched things up with his girlfriend (I couldn’t call her my friend at that time anymore because I hadn’t acted like a friend to her since she had moved). He was still in love with her. I was heart broken, but I had known what I was going into. His feelings for me were real, that I know, but his feelings for his girlfriend were greater. It took me one day to completely fall in love with him and months to fall out of love with him.

Since then I haven’t had any type of relationship with a guy to boast about and it’s mainly my fault. I look at couples that are in love and I think vainly as I watch girls that if she can get a guy then surly I can. It’s a mean thing to think, but it’s what wonders through my head. It’s then that I realize that I could be in a relationship if I choose to, but I think subconsciously I’m always thinking about how much I hurt when I think of what I lost with my first love. I went and saw this movie in the theaters in February called the Wedding Date. It’s a complete chick flick and there was this one line that really got to me. The main guy in the movie says something along the lines of every woman has the romance they want. I was mad when I first heard that, but then I started to think that maybe that was right. I want to love and be loved so bad, but I don’t want the hurt that inevitably comes with it. I’m not in a relationship because I hate feeling vulnerable. I never again want to feel the way I felt for those months after that perfect day. So in reality I desire something that I can’t deal with. I know I’m young and I have plenty of time to find somebody, but I never the less still feel lonely and that’s a feeling no one can escape no matter how young someone is. I’m also starting to resent the line, “The right person will come along when you’re least expecting it.” I’ve heard friends and family say that so much that I swear I’ll throw up the next time I hear it. The only thing I need to overcome is not the fact in finding somebody, but how I’ll respond to my feelings once I do.

2005-06-05T21:25:00.000-07:00

16 days until I walk to get my high school diploma. That's not even what I'm most excited about lately though. I'm also scheduled to get off my wrenched braces the same day of my graduation. It's weird to think what it will feel like when I get them off, since I have had them for three years. I'm also looking forward to my graduation party. A lot of friends and family are coming, there's nothing better then a party with the people I love the most. Then after all that excitement dies down I have my friend Alex's wedding to look forward to since I'm going to me the maid of honor. Graduations, weddings, and new beggings; it's defiantly summer.

Life Choices Suck

2005-05-02T19:41:00.000-07:00

For the past several months I've had the plan to move to a little town in eastern Washington, named East Wenatchee, this summer. I hadn't really given it much thought on what I would do if that plan fell through until recently. At first I didn't give it much thought because that's what I really wanted to do, but then after the fact I was moving there became second nature I just didn't think that I needed another plan.

Well, last Thursday I was talking to my best friend Amanda, from East Wenatchee, about moving in with her and her family in the home they're building at the moment. Her father, who I've known my whole life so he's like a father to me too, has had second thoughts about me moving in with them. Actually I should be truthful; he never really had thoughts of me moving in, only everyone else has, including his wife. His problem is that he’s been stressed out with his small business and doesn't want to think about having another schedule, my schedule, to revolve around. I think he doesn't realize that he wouldn't have to revolve around me. If I were to move in with them I would do my own thing. The problem with Conrad is that he's only known me as a child and a teenager, never as an adult. I don't think he can comprehend me as an adult. If he did, then he wouldn't have a problem with me because he would realize that I can more mature then his own daughters at times. I would never allow red necks to come into his house and tear it apart like his daughters have. That's just not me.

Well now I'm left with an undecided plan on moving to E. Wenatchee instead of a rock-solid plan. Once I worked it out in my head I realized I had so many other choices then just moving to E. Wenatchee. My choices are as following:

A. I could stay at home and finish out my AA at Highline C.C. Once I'm done with that I would have time to just work or travel until registering for CWU’s distant learning program for a teacher degree at Highline. This would leave me at home with my parents for at least three more years-not something that makes me jump up for joy.

B. I could again stay home finish out my AA at Highline C.C. After that, save money up at a job, then get an apartment with a friend while doing the teaching program at Highline. The only thing with that is I would have to have a friend that had enough money to share an apartment with.

C. I could move down to Portland where my sister lives and have no idea what to do with myself down there. I know WSU has a distant learning program for teachers in Vancouver, but I feel it's not the same, as if I were to do it here. Here I have my mom's support, who is a teacher and could help me with references and I know a professor personally from CWU. Don teaches a class that I would have to take and he's like a crazy uncle to me. On the other hand Portland would challenge me mentally. It could be a learning process. Not planning my future and just living day to day not knowing what the next one has in store for me could challenge me in so many ways.

This could be one of the biggest decisions I ever make in my life. I don't want to mess it up. When I knew I was going to move to E. Wenatchee, I had it made. Nothing about the idea of moving there sacred me, I was comfortable about the idea. Everything about it was predictable. Now, I'm scared though. There's something about not knowing what I'm going to do with my life that scares me. Whatever I deicide to do, I have to decide by the end of June when I walk to get my high school diploma. I'm surprised I haven't shit my pants by now with how scared I am (a little laugh for the people that know me with that cuss word).

Some people would be happy about all the choices that I have, but I would of much preferred to have that one plan then several. Life choices SUCK!!

2005-04-24T18:38:00.000-07:00

Is there such thing as a soul mate? And if so, what is a soul mate?
-Questions that roll around in my brain.

Music of My Past

2005-04-23T21:48:00.000-07:00

Whenever I'm listening to the radio in my car and a song comes on that I haven't heard in a long time I'm automatically transported back in time to a memory that's associated with that song.

On Friday I got the sudden urge to buy a Third Day CD. For those that don't know, Third Day is a big Christian band. There are two things that are strange about that. Number one I don't usually buy CD's and number two if I do buy CD's the chances of it being a Christian CD is slim. I decided to go a long on the urge and went down to my local Christian book store. When I went to the Third Day CD's in the store I was surprised to see so many of them. I couldn't figure out which one I wanted, not because that I thought they were all good, but because I had no idea which one was good. I ended up getting a worship CD that had one of my all time favorite song's of theirs "Your Love Oh Lord".

I finally popped the CD in tonight and that experience of going back in time happened to me. The weirdest part was that not just one memory came to me, but every memory of the good times I had with my youth group came to me. I remembered the first time I heard Third Day in concert at my first Creation Festival, (Christian music festival: three days of camping in a desert) almost five years ago. I remembered the last time I heard Third Day in concert, they closed the festival, which is big deal, a couple of years ago. I remember everyone in my youth group being excited about the concert, all of us curled up in blankets under the night’s sky filled with the brightest stars, singing along to the songs with smiles on our faces. One thing I didn't realize when I picked the CD out of numerous ones that the band had was that it was the same CD my youth pastor had had on his wake boarding boat. Every memory of being out on that boat in the summer, wake boarding and inter-tubing came back to me. As I listened to the first song on the CD I was once again back on that boat laughing and joking around with my youth pastor, (who is no longer the youth pastor, and is to this day a good friend) and my friends from youth group. I can hear the laughter, with Third Day in the back round, as they all watch me screaming, on the inter-tube, at Mark to slow down or he was going to kill me. I remembered how it took me two years to figure out how to get up on a wake board, and how everyone triumphed when I finally did, with Third Day playing in the back round. I remember Mark turning Third Day up to as high as the system on the boat could go and all of us on the boat singing along as loud as our voices could go. There are many more memories, one for every time I listened to the same music I listened to tonight.

After all those memories came back to me I realized that those were my greatest teenage memories. A lot of them I had forgotten or purposely pushed back; I wish I hadn't done either. I can't remember being as happy as I was when I was with my youth group. I know I'll never have those same experiences, it forever changed when Mark stepped down seven months ago as youth pastor and became a husband and father. Now, whenever I hear Third Day I will remember all the laughs and good times I had with people I loved only because we shared one common belief: God's son Christ.

Third Day will forever be the music of my past. With hope it will aslo be the music of my future.

Ella Minnow Pea

2005-04-16T14:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was at Barnes and Noble looking for an interesting book to read when my mom stumbled on to the book Ella Minnow Pea. I thought the title was intriguing all in its self so I bought it. I just finished it and it's one of the cleverest books I've ever read. When I was at the bookstore I didn't read all of the back of the book until I reached our car because my mom and I were on our way to a movie that was about to start (I was taking too long to find a book). Once I read the entire back of the book I knew I had picked a good one. Just to get a feel for it, here's what the back stated:

Ella Minnow Pea is a girl living happily on the fictional island of Nollop off the coast of South Carolina. Nollop was named after Nevin Nollop, author of the immortal phrase containing all the letters of the alphabet, "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog."
Now Ella finds herself acting to save her friends, family, and fellow citizens from the encroaching totalitarianism of the island’s Council, which has banned the use of certain letters of the alphabet as they fall from a memorial statue of Nevin Nollop. As the letters progressively drop from the statue they also disappear from the novel...

The whole book is written in letters from the characters (it's their only way to communicate long distance to each other) of the book so as the letters in the alphabet are made illegal they have to stop writing those letters or be in fear of being banished off the Island to America. It was a lot of fun to see certain letters disappear. The author Mark Dunn knows his words.

Survival of the Cars

2005-04-10T15:09:00.000-07:00

Every day I get to look forward to the wonderful conditions of my community college’s overfull parking lots. It always brings my mood up on a higher level. Meaning every feeling of frustration and anxiousness increases once I'm sucked into the nature of the parking lots. Cars from all over like to part take in the excitement as well. It’s something I like to call survival of the cars. As you enter one of parking lots you start to drive up and down the lanes hoping against hope that you'll find an empty spot before any of the other cars. Once you get the idea that your not going to find an empty spot because there's already twenty other car, possibly more, trying to do the same thing, you try to find a person. People are good to look for because they lead you to the chance of an open spot. You have to be the first person to spot one of the people though or your chance of their spot is slim. So while your wondering around, looking for empty spots or a person, or possibly both, you have to watch out for the obstacles. The obstacles I'm talking about are the idiots that park themselves in the middle of the lanes waiting for a spot to open up in front of them even if a person is no where in site. Those people always brighten my day. After minutes go by and your closer to being late to your first class you finally see a person walking to their car to take it away. It's always about good timing when you find a person to follow because if you’re not the first one to spot them then you’re not going to get their spot. When you’re finally lucky enough to find someone getting in their car to leave you have to put on your blinker to state to all the other cars that you have marked your spot. It's a vigorous routine that I have to participate in every week day. It makes me wonder how I'm able to get my car out of the parking lot, after my classes, in one piece.

8 hours of sleep

2005-03-29T23:38:00.000-08:00

Nights are better than mornings. You have to get out of bed in the morning, but you choose to go to bed at night. If your tired at night, you go to bed, if your tried in the morning, you just got out of bed. Sleeping is great! I love sleeping. I love my bed. ; )

DVD's Gone Wild

2005-03-29T18:29:00.000-08:00

Today my mom went to go watch a movie and while she was looking through her DVD collection she asked me if we had Men in Black 2. I said I don't know only becuase I was ditracted. Once she said "you don't know?" in a puzzled voice I recovered from what I was doing and told her "no we don't have it". The reason why she was puzzled is becuase I can tell her any movie we have in our vass amounts of them. I think we easly have over a 100 so it makes it hard on my mom to remember all of them. Since I get our moneys worth out of them she always asks me what we have when she needs to know. Even if she swears have something she always trusts my answer in the end because I'm always right. I'm sure there's other people out there that love to watch movies, but I doubt there's a lot of people that can remember over a 100 movies at any given moment. I have a strange gift, but it's one that I get a kick out of.

Journalism

2005-03-28T12:09:00.000-08:00

I started spring quarter today and I'm finally taking a Writing 101 class after already attending HCC for six quarters. Avoiding is a understatement for what I did. Anyways, while I was listening to the teacher go through the course description I started to realize how much fun I had writing when I was in journalism a year ago. I'm now missing journalism for the first time. I think I'll try to get on the college paper next year. Writing articles was my favorite part of it, it was the latter years that I had a hard time with. Bossing around my peers who were all my friends while I was chief editor was the worst and I rarely had the time to write articles. I think having all that responsibility with no help from my advisor was what really put me over the deep end. I hope this writing class continues to bring back the spirit I once had for journalism because I know I really did enjoy it at one time.

2005-03-28T01:26:00.000-08:00

I was just reading my sister's blog and I found that I like how she has random thoughts. I want to do that more offten with my blog. My random thought today will be one to make me feel good about myself. I think my best features are my blue eyes and my hands. People who touch my hands say they're soft and small, I always take that as a complement. I also get complemented on my blue eyes. There's nothing better than reciving complements then giveing complements. : )

North Carolina Nightmare

2005-03-27T23:58:00.000-08:00

I just got back late last night from a trip to North Carolina. I used to be able to say I've been to more countries than I have states, but unfortunately I can't anymore from going to the worst state I've ever been to. Such a waste. I didn't mind the reason why I went, the part that was all worth it, which was to see my 22 year old brother graduate from an elite group of the Air Force called Combat Controller. He received his scarlet brae, which was a big enough deal for six people to get on airplanes and travel six hours plus two more in cars to see it.

The first thing that made the trip a pain in the ass was that I had to travel with my family. I love my family to death, but any family would get sick of each other if they had to spend four days in cramped spaces with one another. To add to it my crabby uncle Robert, that every feels they have to walk on egg shells when talking to him, was in a very foul mood the whole time because he was in a lot of pain from a recent falling on ice accident. If roles had been switched, for instance if my sister had been getting married across the country for the first time, I know he wouldn’t of come because in reality he didn’t make it to my sister’s first wedding until the ceremony was over and the worst part of it was that it took place at my grandmas house in same town he lives. Just goes to show how much he cares about my brother, but nobody else, not even my Dad, his own brother. I don’t dislike him for not liking me, I actually pity him, he’s the one made it his life choice to shut out women and anyone who’s ever cared for him. (Sorry I went off subject, I had to get my feelings about my uncle out. I’ve seen him about four times over a two year period so spending four days with him was more than I could handle).

So I had my family who I love with me, but because I’m not accustom to spending so much time with them I was easily irritated the whole trip. On top of it North Carolina is the worst state I’ve ever been to. I would never move there even if I had a husband ten years from now that could get a promotion if we moved there. I actully met a guy on the plane that had moved to the capital of N.C. from Boston, he looked as though a promotion was the reason he moved. He said he liked the city he lived in, but I don't think he likes it more than Boston. The one thing I will give the state though is it has a lot more trees than Washington, which was a pleasant surprise to see, maybe that's something that Boston doesn't have.

I can’t really pin point why I disliked N.C. so much except I felt dirty the whole time I was there. The trees were the only thing that was clean about it. Tons of billbords were everywhere. I couldn't believe how many churches were there. Every block had a church with a steeple. It seemed like you could tell how wealthy a church was by how big the steeple was. Towards the end of the trip though I was able to block out everything that was getting to me because we stopped at a Barnes and Noble (nothing makes me feel more at home than a book store) and I picked up a book recommended to me by a professor called Memoirs of a Geisha. The book was good to the point I had a hard time believing it was fiction because the novel was written extremely well that it felt like the story was about a real life geisha.

This whole trip taught me three things: Never ever again travel with my family across the country especially with my uncle, North Carolina is the worst place to take a vacation at, and books stores make me feel like I’m back in the fine area of Seattle. These are all valuable lessons I hope I never to forget!
P.S. If you ever go to a southern state, do not go to a waffle house, no matter how much southeners boast about them.

2005-03-18T13:14:00.000-08:00

Today I finished my final for my college photography class. I don't know how I did yet, but that doesn't matter to me. What does matter though was that this class goes for my art credit for my high school. The really exciting part was that art was the only credit I had left to get for my high school degree so today I finished high school. I didn't really think about it until after class because I've felt for a year now, since I've been in running start attending college classes, that I was done with high school. When I did slow down to think about it I knew I had just past a landmark experience in my life. There were times where I thought I would never get here, but now that I am I wonder where all that time went. Yeh for me! Now all I have to do is wait for the rest of my high school class of 2005 to finish and I'll walk to make it official on June 22nd.

What's my Age?

2005-03-18T13:11:00.000-08:00

What has this world come to when we can’t tell ones age anymore? There used to be a time when people were able to tell the age of person by the wrinkles on their face, by the youthfulness in ones face, by the look of knowledge in ones eyes. What happened to that? The reason why I ask is because for a person that wears her makeup conservatively and wouldn’t get plastic surgery even if someone paid me for it, people often mistake my age younger than I am. Now I wouldn’t complain if I was older, like 30, but I’m 18. When your 18 you don’t want to be told you look like your 15/16. It’s really not a compliment at all, it’s actually an insult. Three to two years seems silly to be irritated about, but when you’re in your teenage years, you grow and learn fast. I remember when I was 15 and I also remember I looked up to my brothers friends who were 18.
My irritation about being recognized as a 15/16 year old comes from a lot of different situations that have happened all this past year. About two weeks ago I get carded at a rated R movie. My first initial thought was I’ve been able to get into rated R movies for year and a half. The thing that really pissed me off about it though was the girl who carded me looked my age! Then the other day I was at church and my dad introduced me to someone his age. He told this woman how I was moving out and she imminently got a confused look on her face and asked why. I knew she thought I was too young to move out so I just said, “Because I’m 18 and it’s time to move out.” The woman just said “oh”. The real rock bottom was during Christmas vacation when my life long best friend’s ex-boyfriend didn’t believe her other ex-boyfriend that I was 18, at least not until it came out of my own mouth.
I just have to keep in mind that my youthful look will come in handy when I start to age, I’ll age well, hopefully.

Act of God or not?

2005-03-04T13:13:00.000-08:00

I haven't been in a relationship with anyone for about two years. But last night I met this guy who's a regular at Juice it up. Juice it up is a smoothie store that is owned by people in my church and practically everyone that works there goes to my church. I happened to be at Juice it up last night at the same time with this regular. Later I found out that neither of us had any real reason to be there because neither of us bought anything, we just hanged out and talked to the people working, one of them being my best friend from church. The two of us started to talk and I asked if he wanted to come to this youth function that was going on that night. I had no reason to ask him to come except that he interested me and I didn't want to stop talking to him. He agreed to come only because he had nothing else to do. I took him and he didn't really seem to be into the worship and he didn't really seem into the message, but at the end he went up to get prayer. Normally we don't have youth group on Thursdays but people from a sister church came to minister to us. When the praying was over we were about to leave without any exchange of numbers or anything when someone stopped him and said she had a word that God gave her for him. On a last note she asked him if she could gather other people from her church to pray over him and he said sure. I joined them. While they were only praying for him God started working on me. He told me that I had a gift that I had forgotten, a gift of evangelism. Evangelism is witnessing to people and bringing them to church. This guy was a Christian, but oddly I think he was going through the same thing I've been going through, which is nothing. I haven't been into church lately, I hadn't even been to youth group for months, my faith was in this gray area. So back to what God was saying: I basically broke down at that, I started to cry because I realized that I was worth something to God and he showed me by bringing this guy along. While I was crying people then started to pray for me also while this guy was sitting right by me having God work through him too. By the time all the praying stopped we both had a set very red eyes. The first thing that the people that prayed for us asked was if we were boyfriend and girlfriend, they had a hard time believing we had just met two hours before. I had this weird bonding experience with a complete stranger and I found it so refreshing. When we started to leave the second time I gave him my phone number and we agreed we'd have to get together. It took just one guy that God put into my path that made do a turn around with my faith. Life can be great with God in it. If your wondering what the guys name was, it was Eric. Strange.

My Dad's Coffee Girls

2005-02-04T11:07:00.000-08:00

The title is eactly what it sounds like. Near my house there's this small self owned espresso place. My dad being a coffee addict doesn't miss a day before going to work to stop there and get his 20 oz. latte (and if he's in a good mood he gets a mocha with hazelnut, my favorite). Not only does my dad like his lattes, but he also likes to be served his coffee by a freindly cheerleader type girl. These gilrs that work at the shop are known by my family, my dad included, as his coffe girls. My dad finds that he needs to get to know each and every one of them. He knows every one of their nams, even the ones the work out of the time spand he stops to get a drink. He even gets to know their lives. One day my dad started to tell me a story about this girl Janna who's husband is in the military and she's going to be moving soon becuase her husband is getting transfered. My dad told me story as if I knew what he was talking about, but I didn't so I asked him who Janna was and he gave me a funny look and said, as if I should know already, "The girl who does the Coffee in the morning." Well, duu, I should have know that! Right. Some months ago (I can't remember how long ago now) the regular morning girl, this was before 'Janna' took over, was gone for a long amount of time and Janna was there to fill in. Well of course this didn't suite my dad so he had to know why his regular girl wasn't there. We came to find out that she had had a fallopian tube prenancy so she had to go into surgury and was at the time recovering from it. My dad excepted what had happened and put up with Janna until his regular came back. After about week of her being back he then again found that she wasn't there when he saw Janna there again. This time it was more serious, she was never to return to be his coffee girl ever again. What could be more serious than a fallopian tube prenancy? Well, she had watched while her boyfriend had been murdered. We didn't hear how he was killed, we asume it was a stray bullet. My dad was really sad to hear she had been through so much, but what I found odd was that he seemed to be more sad that his regular coffe girl would no longer be serving him. To continue my story about my dad's coffee girls I'm skipping ahead to today. This morning I decided to get a mocha, I went yesterday, but didn't stay long to talk becuase there was a line. Today though there was no line so the coffe girl started up a conversation with me. As the conversation progressed I found out that my dad had confided in her with the fact I'm moving to the other side of the state. I told her it was true and how I was excited, but my parents were'nt too thrilled about the idea (even though I'm moving in with family friends). She then respones by telling me, "Your dad knows you'll do fine over there, but he doesn't like the fact it's so far away." What the hell! I just found out about how my dad really feels about me moving from a girl my dad only sees for 10 mins every morning. So there it is, my dad doesn't mind confiding to his presious coffee girls about me, but he doesn't bother to tell me. To end this I want to give a shout out to all the coffee girls for putting up with men like my dad, God Bless You!

The long awaited words

2005-02-01T22:45:00.000-08:00

Well, here's my new blog. I've been avoiding this for a while, but my sister finally convinced me to start my own blog. Maybe this is exactly what I need. In about four months I'm planning on moving out of my parents house and moving in with my best friends. I've been living with my parents alone since my older brother moved out four years ago. If I do say so myself I think I've done a good job living with them until recently. Maybe I've finally reached my breaking point or maybe it's the fact I know I'll be gone soon, but everything out of my parents mouths is extremly annoying to me. The only thing that's keeping me from kneeling over and dieing from frustration is the thought of knowing I'll be gone soon. I think I've come to realize that these feelings that I have toward my parents are feelings of resentment. I didn't lead a normal teenage life because I was too busy trying to be a daughter my parents could be proud of, a daughter that didn't make mistakes, a daughter that always did the right thing. I wasted four high school years on my parents trying be a perfect daughter for them who, until recently, I finally saw weren't the perfect parents who I thought they were. I love my parents, they are good people, but I want to start living my life for me. I feel as if I've been brained washed my whole life and in some ways it's true. I look at who my parents are now and who I am now and I see that some where down the road I became Michelle and am no longer my parents. I'll be moving to much smaller town then the one I live in now, but that doesn't bother me. It actully makes me happy, happy that for the first time in my life I'm doing what I want to do and not what other people want me to do.